Modern & Historical Research about Child Sexual Abuse

At the moment the news is full of Jeffrey Epstein’s birthday book and all the VIPs who were his friends. They highlight the men that continued to associate with him once he was first charged with abuse. Quite rightly they are being questioned on their judgement at the very least and of course many seem to have enjoyed the myriad ‘pleasures’ he afforded them.

This discussion is very much in the public interest considering the political, social and financial power wielded by these men. I hope that criminal charges are forthcoming where appropriate, although I’m not holding my breath on that one.

It has made me think of two things. Firstly, how we push away child sexual abuse (CSA) as something ‘other people’ do. It wouldn’t happen in our community, right? It wouldn’t be carried out by our men or, god forbid, women? The stories that are highlighted and exploited (mostly by the right) are of ‘others’ abusing our girls.

And yet, and yet…the research evidence says that most abuse occurs within our own communities or even within our families. It is not the ‘other,’ in general, it is your uncle, father, mother, sister, brother, neighbour, scout leader, vicar, priest or teacher. They are people who are respected and even loved. It is pretty much always someone we have a relationship with which is why all too often the child (or adult) feels they have transgressed when they finally tell someone. They feel that they have done something wrong. They have disturbed the peace.

And this brings me to my second thought. How must it feel to learn this person you respected and maybe even loved did such a terrible thing? What does this mean about them? What does this mean about you and your judgement? All too often the confusion and anger this generates is funnelled towards the truth teller, rather than the abuser.

Abuse is a secretive crime, it is built upon grooming and fear. This grooming extends to people around the child too. I wish people would remove their blinders, stop focussing so much on ‘others’ abusing children (although obviously this should be dealt with too) and listen to your intuition within your own community. Just a brief glance at this ‘Birthday Book’ makes it clear that people saw Epstein as a mysterious, wealthy and sexually predatory man. It would have been good if any of them (the non-abusive ones) had considered this in a bit more depth rather than just enjoying the luxury.